Becoming Coach

“The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.”
— Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

In 2006 in my attic room in Provo, Utah I opened up my laptop and started talking about how to jump higher. Yes, how to physically jump higher. It was a mysterious obsession of mine that had lead me since I was 8 years old to study and train. Despite relatively meager returns in my efforts, I had persevered. I had considered myself a “coach.” I had received my "ACE personal training certification. I had achieved levels of fitness and ability I was proud of, and most of all felt like I had some “secrets” to share, that could help others avoid paths of training that would only lead to disappointment and eventual abandonment.

That video was sent out into the virtual ether. A handful of other athletes saw it, and asked questions… and then… I made another video.

This process continued on for 20 years.

I would teach. Others would learn, and then ask me a question.

This eventuallly lead to me writing “The Jump Manual” where I compiled what I taught into a succinct process.

And the process went on…

People began to call me “Coach” because I taught them things, and answered their questions.

The book sold 150,000 copies, and my youtube channels totalled millions of views.

What I have come to realize is that I was not a Coach. I was a teacher.

And although we talk about teachers, coaches, and trainers as if it is the same, in my own understanding to “Coach” is something entirely different than to train or to teach.

To train or teach is not the same thing as to “coach.”

A trainer or teacher, tells you what they know.

A trainer or teacher is is only as valuable as the information they provide you.

If the information can be consumed or learned elsewhere, than your value as a trainer or teacher is a commodity.

There’s nothing wrong or “less than” about being a trainer or teacher.

But this series of writing is about becoming something other than sharing information, teaching, and answering questions.

“A good coach doesn’t answer their client’s questions. A good coach questions their client’s answers.”

I had hired a coach and remotely we had spent the day together. I was stowed away in a small room at an RV park. We had been travelling from state to state for the last 2 years. I had read at this point 100s of books on various topics from meditation, to training, to life to who the hell knows what else. I consumed books as if each one was my last meal.

After spending 6 hours with a coach, spending time writing and answering questions he was asking me. I thought I had come to this coach to learn, to be trained. But after 6 hours of answering his questions I had a arrived at a level of clarity and conviction that I hadn’t known for the last 5 years of my life.

I was experiencing coaching. I was expereincing a “coaching container.”

As I stepped back from the expereince I realized that I hadn’t been taught or presented anything new, and no new or groundbreaking concepts. Yet the work and the writing and the frameworks that we had done in that time, were like cherished treasures of my own creation.

My coach stared back at me through the zoom video conferencing. And he asked me… are you ready to be the one?

… Am I ready to be the one?

… WTF does that even mean?

The question appealed to my ego… was I going to be “the one” … the all star… the person who could teach others and stand up as a lighthouse to others who were looking for progress, transformation, learning?

I’ve since fiddled with that question, and understood it at deeper and deeper levels.

I’ve since realized that to “become the one” means to be the “one” who holds space for another, who can show up with compassion for the emergence and creation of another’s new self and new identity.

This “Becoming Coach” series will be some fun writings and stories about my own journey from “trainer” to “coach” as well as an opportunity to hear about your own journey… so feel free to ask questions or share about your own journey in the comments.